Preserve Your Marriage While Combatting Addiction
Addiction can make a marriage feel like a heavy anchor weighing both partners down and it may make thoughts of a healthy relationship seem impossible. This may be especially true with a spouse whose addiction causes him or her to cheat, steal, lie, cause financial strain and legal problems or be aggressive and violent. Luckily, if you are determined to work together to save your marriage, there is still hope. Saving a marriage will involve setting healthy boundaries, being honest with each other, and creating a support system that can help both partners. You may be able to talk to your partner and help them seek rehabilitation services or may want to stage an intervention. You can access local resources for New York addiction recovery here.
If your spouse is willing to get help, the first hurdle will be the physical detox process. Once your spouse is clear minded, you can work to create a life that supports sobriety and strengthens the bond that addiction weakened. With support from family, friends, and professionals, your marriage can survive.
One of the hardest parts of being in a marriage with an addict is admitting that you could be enabling through codependent behavior. Codependency is excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner or family member, often for validation and approval, and typically a partner who needs support due to illness or addiction. This is exhibited by ones emotional and psychological well being and state of mind being completely reliant on the immediate status of the relationship. An example would be if your happiness is solely based on interactions with your spouse, even when other aspects of your life are going well and are cause for joy.
You may be codependent if you:
- Provide your spouse with prescription strength pain medication prescribed to you, even for minor ailments that do not require it
- Justify your spouse’s drinking or drug use by saying he or she had a bad day
- Take on the task of repairing relationships that your addicted partner destroys
- Loan money to your spouse or pay debts despite it causing financial distress in the marriage
- Prolong addiction in fear of losing your spouse once sober
As the wife or husband of an addict, your job in creating a healthy environment and re-establishing a healthy relationship is to take care of yourself while considering the following:
- Seek outside help or join a support group
- Attend therapy both alone and with your spouse
- Learn about the disease of addiction and how you can create a healthy support system for your spouse
- Practice self-care including getting adequate sleep, practicing mindfulness through yoga, meditation, or other calming practices, and taking time for yourself while your partner is in recovery
- Maintain friendships and social interaction to combat isolation
Discuss Your Options with Our Team
If addiction caused irreparable damage to your marriage or if your partner is not willing to get help, our team of divorce attorneys at Goldweber Epstein LLP can help you take the steps to break free. We understand that sometimes you must let go and start fresh. You deserve to live in peace, and our team strives to avoid litigation and move through the divorce process as smoothly and quickly as possible. Let us handle the legal aspects of divorce, child custody arrangements, and property division, so you can focus on rebuilding a life apart from addiction.
Contact our team to discuss how we can help at (917) 809-7669.